One of the things we love about working with Equines is that they consistently remind us humans to keep things simple! They help us get out of our busy minds and into the present moment.
In a recent round pen session, John* was struggling to make a connection with one of our more challenging horses. John entered the round pen stating that he “was going to figure out how to connect!” This bold declaration was an indication that John was already coming into the situation stuck in his thoughts and attached to his expectations, complicating the relationship before it even had a chance to begin.
In response to this, the horse vehemently objected to John’s attempts to touch him. As he continued to try to solve “the problem”, John became more and more domineering in his actions towards the horse and each time he tried to get close, the horse quickly raised and turned his head in a “don’t you dare” manner. After some time of this, we took a pause and worked with John to help him understand the horse’s cues and encouraged him to identify what he, himself, might be feeling during the encounter.
Looking at and identifying his own feelings was very challenging for John. Instead, he kept changing his focus to the horse – what he thought about him and the strategic plotting of ways he might finally get to touch him. His continued analyzing, judging, planning and projecting was making it all very complicated! We asked John to take a mindful walk around the pen – just focusing on his footsteps in the sand and nothing else. After a few laps it was clear that something had shifted, the horse looked more relaxed and John seemed more present in the moment.
I encouraged John to try connecting with the horse again. This time, keeping in mind to let go of his thoughts and simply “BE”. It took some time, but the more present in the moment John became the less defensive the horse was. Finally, John stopped thinking about how he was going to make a connection and simply reached out to touch the horse’s forehead, with no ulterior motive or agenda. The horse gently put his head down and leaned into John’s touch — it was a simple and beautiful moment.
*all names and identifying information have been changed.
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