The Holiday season is here!
In this delightful, celebratory time, it can sometimes be easy to forget the loving spirit of the season. In the flurry, many of us may feel moments of dread or distress over all of the gift giving, socializing, eating, drinking and “being merry”. How can we stay connected to the joy, love, togetherness and giving energy that this season has to offer? We can start by receiving it. In this time of “giving” we often forget that the act of receiving is just as important. In fact, graciously and lovingly receiving is a gift, for both giver and receiver.
“If everyone were busy giving, then who’d be available to receive all that good stuff? By receiving with a tender self-compassion, we’re allowing ourselves to be touched by life’s gifts.” John Amodeo, PhD, MFT
We know it feels good to give, yet sometimes we have a hard time being on the receiving end. We went to some experts on giving and receiving love – our beloved herd! Here’s what they have to say about it.
TIPS FROM THE HERD –
SIB: How can folks connect with the joy of this gifting season?
COSMO: Receiving inspires our Gratitude. When we truly receive the benefits of a gift or kind gesture we connect with our appreciation for the gift and the giver. Gratitude puts us in a positive state of mind. When we become grateful for something, it’s contagious and we tend to notice more things we are grateful for. Living in gratitude helps us see the big picture and keeps the focus on what we do have rather than what we do not.
LUNA: Receiving puts us in the present moment. When we’re present, we let go of worries or comparative thinking. Just be there and experience the moment. You are much more likely to feel the loving energy behind the action of giving when you are present to it, and this energy is healing and joyful. Get out of your head & into your heart, that’s where the joy comes from!
THELMA: Revel in the small pleasures! With all of the advertisements and overstimulation during this time of year to “buy, buy, buy” it’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel a lot of pressure to make things “perfect” or achieve a “dream come true.” While it’s great to shoot for the stars, don’t forget to stop and appreciate the little things that bring joy all around you. A cool drink, a nice roll, a quiet moment with a friend. These special moments can be priceless, don’t forget to notice and enjoy them!
SIB:What if receiving is uncomfortable for someone? What can they do?
LADY: Learn that you are worthy of the gift! You are just as worthy as any other person or equine around, in fact, people WANT to give to you, that’s why you need to practice receiving. Allow yourself the benefits of receiving because you deserve to be happy! Everyone does!
CONDINA: Practice compassion for others. Giving is a joyful act! It can be really fun to think of someone and find something special for them. Giving is a way that we express appreciation for one another. When someone is giving to you, put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself – How would you like someone to react to you when you are giving to them?
MILLIE: When we receive, we let go of a certain amount of “control” over how things will go, how we will feel, or what will happen. Wow, that can be scary sometimes! We allow ourselves to be affected by the giving action. Sometimes, this results in resistance or even fear, which may block us from receiving, but if we soften and make the conscious choice to hand over the reigns to the giver, then we are liberated from resistance and can enjoy the outpouring of loving energy that comes with receiving.
LUCIUS: Receiving is a form of self-care, which is so important at a busy, emotional time of year like the holidays. Getting attention feels good! When we take care of ourselves we have more energy and generally feel better and stronger – not to mention we are more able to give to others, too!
SIB: What about those folks who feel more comfortable giving?
COOPER: Receiving IS giving! When you are receiving you’re giving a gift to the giver! They get to see the effects of their positive loving action and that makes them feel great! Receiving deeply and graciously conveys that their giving has made a difference — that we’ve been affected. When they can visibly see or feel that you understand their loving intentions, they will feel appreciated and gratified in turn.
BELLA-ROSE: Givers sometimes forget to give to themselves, too! If you enjoy giving and want to be able to keep doing it, be sure to also replenish your own well, so that you have your best to give.
SIB: Any tips for dealing with difficult family relationships?
BUBBA: The more you can receive a gift with an open heart and an open mind, the greater the understanding you will have of the giver’s intention to do something for you. I like to allow this recognition of their desire for my happiness and well-being to sink in and make me feel good! So, hopefully you can too – this is what they’re after by making the gesture, after all!
MAYBELLINE: Receiving opens a channel to intimacy with the giver. When someone gives and it is received openly, a connection is made between the giver and the receiver. This connection can strengthen and fortify a relationship or simply create a momentary bond. This type of deeper connection reminds us that we are all on this journey of life together.
COLBY: Don’t forget GIVING is a form of receiving too! When we give, we are reminded of our own abundance – that we always have something to give, whether it’s a material gift, a helping hand, or just a thoughtful smile or compassionate ear. Next time you have the opportunity to give, notice what benefits you receive in return!
The next time someone offers a compliment, gift, or looks lovingly into your eyes, notice how you feel inside. What’s happening in your body? Is your breathing relaxed and your belly soft or are you tightening up? Can you let in the caring and connection? Bringing mindfulness to the pleasant, uncomfortable, or perhaps fiery feelings of delight might allow you to be more “present” for the present.
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