I think we’ve probably all experienced what it feels like to feel confident in one way or another (or at least comfortable), and we certainly all know what it feels like when we lack confidence – definitely not good!
When we’re confident, we’re able to be our best selves. We’re funny, charismatic, aware, articulate, assertive – all of those good traits that make us attractive and allow us to get things done.But when we’re not confident, we feel stifled, unable to really be ourselves, and are only able to display a fraction of our potential.
CORE CONFIDENCE is a type of confidence that exists within us and can be called forward no matter what situation may arise, even if it’s one that is outside of our “comfort zone”. This type of confidence comes from staying connected, CENTERED and grounded to who you really are – it comes from within. Trying to be something or somebody you are not never feels good and it pulls you off of your center. But once we recognize that if we stay CENTERED and remain true to ourselves, we can shine in any situation.
Here are 7 steps to help find YOUR center:
#1 – Stop what you’re doing & listen. Feeling frazzled, self-conscious, uncomfortable, confused? Take a moment to stop whatever it is you’re doing & check in with yourself. Where are you and what are you feeling? Close your eyes and just breathe. What’s going on inside? Allow any thoughts and emotions you have to come up. Notice them as they arise and make a mental note without judging, then allow each one to fade away as the next one approaches. This process of merely recognizing and noticing what is going on within you will help you have a clearer picture of yourself. You might realize some reasons why you feel the way you do that you weren’t aware of before you checked in or you might just feel more calm and CENTERED. Most importantly, by getting in touch with what’s going on inside, you’ll get back in touch with who you are and have a solid foundation to build your next move upon.
#2 – Let go of anything extra. It’s hard to connect with our center when we’re focused on everything else going on outside of us. Momentarily, let go of anything outside of you or your own personal experience. What your co-worker is thinking or why your significant-other can’t remember to water the plants has nothing to do with you in this present moment. Although thoughts about the to-do list or yesterday’s debacle may have their place, they are also distractions from our own part in our experiences. So is concerning ourselves with ideas or thoughts about an experience rather than having the experience itself – What will people think? Is it good enough? What if someone else is better? I wanted more! I wish I were faster, stronger, or DIFFERENT in any way. Let all of that go for a minute. Once you do, you’ll be able to see yourself in the experience more clearly and really BE there in your center.
#3 – Allow your “critical voice” to take 5. When we’re pushed out of our comfort zones often our “critical voice” rushes in to tell us what we’re doing wrong or how we should act. If you suddenly find yourself full of negative self-talk, whether it’s out loud or in your head, take it as a cue to hit the pause/mute button. Mentally thank your “critical voice” for its assistance and allow it to take a break. If it chimes back in keep dismissing it with “Thanks, but I’ve got this” until it quiets down. That little voice, although often misguided, is trying to help you, so getting angry or frustrated at it can often lead to more critical thoughts. Thanking it and offering a well-deserved repose, takes some of the pressure off and may allow that voice to relax more easily. Once the critical voice has taken a break you’ll be able to hear and listen to your authentic self more clearly.
#4 – Recognize your “strengths” & acknowledge your “weaknesses”. Part of being centered is recognizing yourself for who you are – flaws and all. Nobody’s perfect. We all have our own unique brand of places where we really excel and places where we could use some work. The important thing is that we remember this and we strike a balance between celebrating our personal successes and realizing where we can do better. We also need to know when to cut ourselves a break for not being perfect while continuing to practice strengthening those areas. We need both to learn and grow. Finding and recognizing both of these realities keeps us CENTERED in the truth of who we really are. This truth will change as we live, learn & grow, so it’s important we keep paying attention and acknowledging both sides of the coin.
#5 – Realize that focusing on goals AND accepting where you are now can exist simultaneously. Having goals and going after them is wonderful! So is having a clear picture of what you’re capable of NOW. It is possible for both of these things to exist simultaneously – in fact, it is key in order to stay centered. If we’re too far focused on the goal ahead without paying attention to where we are now then it’s much more difficult to proceed with success. 
Like plotting a course on a map, it’s pretty hard to get directions to point B if your GPS can’t locate your current location. Conversely, if we’re overly concerted with what our capabilities are now and only act within what we believe to be our current abilities, we limit ourselves for what we might be capable of if only we were to give it a try! Without trying new things and going after goals that stretch us, we aren’t able to move forward and remain stuck in our “comfort zone” which starts to feel pretty small. A healthy dose of both keeps us growing, evolving, and realizing our potential without pushing ourselves too hard or setting unrealistic, unachievable goals.
#6 – Do YOUR best and no one else’s. We feel great when we know that we are doing our very best! We can’t do better than our best and we certainly aren’t capable of doing someone else’s. If you’re too busy trying to do someone else’s best, you’re not doing YOURS and therefore you don’t get to feel the great feeling of accomplishment that one feels when they are doing THEIR very best – and you probably feel pretty terrible! Trying to do someone else’s best is so far off of center it’s almost like having an out of body experience! Take the focus off of what anybody else is doing, and get it back to your OWN business! THEIR best is for THEM to do – YOURS is for you! So go ahead & do it! You’ll find you’ll feel accomplished and PROUD that you’ve gone & done YOUR best. Nobody else can do that but YOU!
Finding & reconnecting with your CENTER will give you an EMPOWERED feeling that naturally boosts your CONFIDENCE in any situation. Realizing who you are and what you’re capable of, takes some of the pressure off that often leads to a lack of self confidence. But you don’t have to take our word for it – give any of these centering exercises a try & see how you feel!
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