When was the last time you noticed yourself making a choice about something? What comes to mind? Are you searching for your last big or “important” decision like “I had to choose whether to accept a job offer that wasn’t ideal” or “what to name our new baby” or something more basic like “what photo to use for my profile” or “what to wear out to dinner last night”? What about your choice to read this article? Did that come to mind? Your choice to get up out of bed this morning? Your choice to smile at your neighbor as they walked by? To take a drink of water just now?
We are constantly making choices, some of them stand out and take time and effort to make, while others may be totally unconscious, and the rest lie somewhere in between. Any way you slice it, when it comes down to it, the choice you are making is yours, whether you are aware that you are making it or not!
How can this knowledge help us? Well, while there are many things in life that we have no control over, we do have control over our choices – how we choose to react, what we decide to do next, how we view and perceive things. And our choices also have influence. What we choose not only affects our own experience (the world inside) but can also create influence in the circumstances and the experiences of others (the world outside).
Realizing and remembering that we have a choice can open up a world of possibilities – possibilities that are out of reach when we convince ourselves that we have no choice or when we simply forget to even consider choosing anything at all.
So, how do we reconnect with our power to choose? Make the choice to check out the tips below to help you get into the habit of choosing consciously.
7 Tips for Reclaiming your Power to Choose:
#1 – Practice mindfulness. The first step to making conscious choices is remembering and recognizing that you have a choice at all! Pause and take a moment to consider and think rather than immediately reacting or going through the motions. This means slowing down, taking a breath, noticing how you feel, remembering to connect with yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings. You have the opportunity to choose before acting!
#2 – Be Open. If you have decided that you have no choice, then you will have no choice. The decision, however is yours. Having an open mind and being open to the possibilities increases your choices and therefore, your ability to choose. Let go of limiting thoughts and beliefs that lead you to feeling stuck and without choices. Use your Imagination and see what ideas you can come up with, even if they seem extravagant! Be open and don’t shut the door on possibilities. If you find yourself talking or thinking in absolutes, broaden your ideas and consider what you might be missing. Openness invites new energy, new ideas and new opportunities to come forward.
#3 – Pay attention to yourself. We often lose our power to choose because we are too focused on what is happening outside of ourselves – what the other person is doing or the events playing out. An easy way to regain your power is to notice yourself in the situation and remember that you are an active participant, not just a bystander. What are you doing? How are you responding? By bringing your attention back to yourself, you create the opportunity to remember that you have a choice about what you do, what you say, and how you act. Notice yourself and recognize the choices you are making and what choices are available to you in every moment.
#4 – Adjust your perspective. How often do you listen to yourself and the words that you choose to use? When you have a long to do list, do you hear yourself saying a lot of “I have to do this, I have to do that, I have to…” How often do you hear yourself saying “I want to do this, I want to do that, I want to…” When we are constantly telling ourselves we “have” to do something, it often starts to feel like we don’t have any choice in the matter. Usually that’s not the case. Usually, we actually want to do whatever it is we are talking about, but we are used to saying we “have” to, for a variety of reasons. Even when the task is important or perhaps SEEMS like it’s something we “have” to do rather than “want” to do, chances are if you really look at it, you DO want to do this task because you want the result that comes along with doing it. When you break it down and recognize that you do in fact have choices even when it feels like you don’t, it can help you feel more enthusiastic about the choice that you feel like you “have” to make and start looking at it as the choice you “want” to make.
#5 – Ask “What’s next?” When we are focused only on events of the past, even the very recent past, it is easy to get stuck dwelling on what has already happened and feeling powerless. Simply asking yourself “What now?” or “What next?” can help move your focus from the past to the present – where you do have choices. Considering what’s next also connects you to the future, where you can imagine even more possibilities. If you find yourself feeling stuck in a moment or paralyzed by events, try asking yourself those questions and see what ideas you can come up with. Moving forward, even slowly, will get you back into alignment with choice.
#6 – There is ALWAYS a choice. We can’t always get what we want. We aren’t always presented with easy choices or what feels like a lot of good options to choose from. Yet, there is always a choice, sometimes we just have to look a little bit harder to realize what we can control and the choices we do have. When presented with a situation where it seems you have no choice, assess whether that really is accurate. Do you truly have no other choices or are you actually making a choice you don’t necessarily like in order to gain something else that you do, something that feels necessary to you? Does the choice you feel you “have” to make benefit you in some way? Or is the choice keeping you from some worse alternative? Asking yourself why you feel you have to make this choice will usually lead you to the benefits of the choice – bringing you towards something you want or away from something you don’t want. Recognize and focus on the benefits and you will feel more power in your choices. If you find yourself in a situation where you truly do not have a choice in the matter, usually due to some sort of physical limitations, recognize that choice itself is still available. You may not be able to change the physical circumstance itself but you do have the ability to choose your mental state, your perspective, your thoughts and so on. You always have access to choice about something and the choice is always yours.
#7 – Choose again. Choice isn’t stagnant. When you make a choice it isn’t forever. Usually, you have to renew that choice over and over again for it to continue to be your choice. Although the effects of your choice will have an impact and therefore have aftereffects, you will continue to have opportunities to choose in the future. In each moment, there is an opportunity to make a new choice or the same choice again. Realizing that a single choice doesn’t last forever may help you remember that your power to choose (and choose again, and again) is always present, always needing your attention, alive and evolving. So don’t be afraid to make a choice, you can always be open, adjust your perspective and figure out how to make another one.
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