Horses are consummate teachers of clarity and congruence. Not only do the lead mare and stallion demonstrate their worthiness to lead through wisdom, clear communication and coherent energy, each member must participate in giving and receiving clear, consistent messages in order to survive. These are the same qualities necessary for effective relationships, influence and leadership in human herds.
The horses let us know when we lack clear intention or clear communication. Mike*, a 42 year old manager, brought his team to Stand InBalance because of rising conflict and difficulty meeting deadlines. Each of the 12 team members stated that in general they worked reasonably well together and were clear about roles and responsibilities. However, the agitation and lack of cooperation from the horses told a different story. As the group struggled to move a group of horses, some of the horses ran away and others refused to budge. Frustration began to mount and it became obvious that the horses agitation and lack of cooperation reflected the confusion and lack of cohesion in the group. As we took a break to process this, several team members began to recognize and share how these same dynamics showed up in the workplace but noted they usually downplayed the problems or got frustrated and just went and did “their own thing”.Mike had a “light-bulb” moment as he realized that he often abdicated his leadership or changed his mind about what direction the team should take on a project. Others recognized how frequently they failed to clearly communicate their needs and ideas. After further discussion regarding their challenges, the team came together and spent time creating a plan and getting true buy-in from everyone. When the horses began to get agitated, they recognized a need to re-group and check in about their focus and intention. It wasn’t easy, but after several breaks to re-align and connect with clear leadership and intention, the group managed to move all the horses into the designated area. Not only were they thrilled with their accomplishment, but they gained important skills to put into practice at work!
Mary*, a 36 year old mother of 8 year old twins, came to Stand InBalance for help with stress and anxiety. Inevitably, the horses ended up mirroring how lack of a clear intention and a tendency to send mixed messages were contributing to her difficulties. Mary noted that the two mini-donkeys reminded her of her boys – “Tate” and “Justin”. After creating an obstacle course, Mary* found she could not get the donkeys to cooperate in “moving through the challenges of her day.She would start and then go back to petting one or the other when they didn’t immediately move with her. Finally, after getting some forward movement, “Tate” refused to go any further. Mary got angry and wanted to give up. This mirrored perfectly the challenges at home – she would become worried and uncertain, and then get angry or give in when he put up a fight about getting ready for school.
After exploring more about Mary’s anxiety and how it related to her childhood, she was able to work on embodying clarity and conviction in her parenting. Mary became more aware of how her own self-doubt got in the way and how easily things went when she was able to stay focused and committed. Not only was she then able to move through the obstacle course, but both donkeys were much more interested in relating with her. After a couple weeks of practicing her clear leadership in the arena and at home, Mary’s focus and communication was so clear that she was able to get one donkey to “stay in place” while she walked the other. She was so excited she even did a little victory dance in the arena. The next week, Mary reported being really proud of herself for how she was able to put her learning into practice at home. Moreover, she realized that she was enjoying her boys much more and felt much more confidence and clarity in other areas of her life. Definitely cause for a victory dance!
*All names and identifying information have been changed
TOP