“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ― Dalai Lama XIV
As the year comes to a close and the winter weather settles in, our natural instincts encourage us to wind down, take it slow and turn inward to a peaceful state of rest and rejuvenation. However, our modern practices usually don’t match these instinctual inclinations at all, and many of us find ourselves even busier at this time of year — finishing projects, holiday parties, family obligations, and other “merry” but very energy intensive activities. During this time of year, taking a restful pause is usually the last thing on our list of objectives and finding peace (internal or external) during all of the buzz can seem near to impossible!
But if you can find some peace during this season, your body, mind and soul will thank you for it. Not to mention your loved ones, who may find you even more loving if you’re able to connect with and bring that peace into your interactions with them. So, with this in mind, we’ve developed a mini roadmap to finding peace during not-so-peaceful times. The number one thing to remember is that peace lies within you, no matter what’s going on outside and it is always available to you – you need only learn how to unlock and connect with it. And, although peaceful outside circumstances can help you to tap into your own sense of peace, if you are looking to bring peace to a conflict or situation, you won’t be able to do so until you first find it within yourself.
Check out the tips below to help you connect with peace:
#1 – Quiet your mind. When searching for peace, we often look to quiet the external first, which can definitely help. Turn off your phone, the tv, the radio. Shut off and out the excess external noise in order to be able to connect with and hear what’s going on inside. However, once you’ve found that quiet outside, you may notice that there is even more going on inside. Taking time to quiet our own mind is a powerful key to unlocking inner peace. Once the mind is quiet, it matters much less what sort of noise is happening outside. Meditation is an excellent way to learn how to let go of noisy thought patterns and find some quiet. Journaling is another great way to unload extra thoughts, once you put them down on paper you can let go of them in your mind. Doing activities which you bring you calm, such as taking a bath, getting a massage, a walk in nature, listening to music or cuddling with a loved one, can also help quiet anxious thoughts. Whatever activity you enjoy that puts you into a serene state of mind and brings you into the present moment can do the job. Carve out time during each day to check in with yourself and quiet your mind. From that quiet place within, peace will come.
#2 – Set your intention. Our minds are incredibly powerful. The thoughts that we think outline the way we perceive the world and the experiences we have. We all know the difference between a day that we “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” and a day where we start off feeling great. When we’re up it’s hard for anything to bring us down and vice versa. If peace is what you are after, then make a conscious choice to select a setting for your mind that aligns with peace. This intention will serve as a guide for your thoughts throughout the day. Remembering to continually set your mind back to your intended state is the key! Writing it down, setting an alarm or creating a ritual around this practice will help you to have the most success. Some mindsets that help to bring a peaceful state are: Gratitude, Joy, Compassion, Oneness, Simplicity, Clarity, Love and Peace itself. For more help on setting intentions, check out this article.
#3 – Be Authentic. A lot of our internal strife comes when we are trying to be something that we are not. For whatever reason(s), we think we need to be different or feel differently than we do or are and we don’t honor our true feelings. This act of incongruence brings on major turmoil! How can we find peace if we are at war with ourselves? Be yourself and a weight will be lifted. Be true to you and you will find it easier to accept others as well. No more fighting with yourself, make peace. Click here to learn more about finding your authentic self.
#4 – Simplify. As humans, we often have a tendency to over do it. We start collecting – things, thoughts, goals, ideas – and in the process become overwhelmed. Who can blame us when we live in such an abundant society! It can become too much. In this day and age, the whole world is literally at our fingertips, but we aren’t designed to hold it all. Take a look around you, and within you, and simplify. What really matters to you? What are your priorities in life? In this moment? Focus on those things and let go of the rest. You are just one single, human being. Allow yourself a break and dial things back to be as simple as possible. You may breathe easier and more peacefully once you’ve created some much needed space.
#5 – Do nothing. This is a challenging one, but if you really want to find peace try doing nothing. We weren’t born onto this earth with any set rules or a guidebook (besides some of our primal instincts to stay alive- food, water, air, sleep). Most of the things we do from day to day are because we, as individuals and a society, have created constructs and ideas about what we “should” be doing in order to be a certain way or have a certain thing, but when we break it down to our basic human nature, there is nothing extra that we really need to do to be here, other than just be here. Practice this, just being. Being in the present moment, without a goal, without an objective, without a judgement about it, without an end game. Don’t plan, don’t try to be better, don’t try to be anything. Just do nothing, for five minutes. Do nothing and you will find yourself connected with peace.
#6 – Find Balance. Peace lies within balance. You may notice that in the tips shared so far there’s a blend of suggestions that require taking action (yang) and some that require releasing action (yin). Understanding opposing forces of yin and yang within ourselves and the actions that we take can help us to recognize when we are out of balance and take steps to regain it. When we are out of balance, we feel stressed, agitated, off-kilter. Balance within ourselves, our actions, and our emotions creates a wholeness in which we feel a sense of harmony – a peace.
#7 – Have Faith. Anxious feelings that keep us from finding peace often arise when we feel overwhelmed by the “unknown”. We may feel powerless or like we must gain control of things which we actually have no control over. This grab for unattainable power leads to much strife and certainly no peace. In the face of uncertainty, trust can bring you back to a more peaceful state. Trusting in a higher power, whether that’s God or the Universe, fate, science, logic, love or the unknown itself – whatever you might believe in – putting your faith into something can help bring you a greater sense of peace. When you feel that you have no power or control over a situation, you can find power in having hope. Put your energy and thoughts into positive expectation, into envisioning the best possible outcome and then let it go, in faith. Give yourself the peace in knowing that there are forces at work beyond your control.
#8 – Surrender. The word “surrender” often gets a bad wrap. People usually equate it with being defeated or giving something up, but in matters of peace the opposite is true. When we surrender, we gain, we gain peace. We let go of the fight, because usually the fight isn’t necessary. Surrendering, in this context, means letting go of any internal (or external) struggles that are not serving us. Let go of your expectations, let go of perfection – these things keep us in a fight against ourselves, a fight that isn’t worth it. Let go of your to do list, your mad thoughts. Surrender your judgments and your stories about yourself and others. Surrender your grudges and forgive. Surrender your hardworking body and rest. Allow yourself a break, allow quiet, allow love, allow peace. Let go of it all, allow yourself to be open, and surrender to this moment only. Here, you will find peace.
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