When working with horses and donkeys, it’s important to keep a positive mindset. Not is it easier and more fun to approach experiences with positivity, but your mindset also impacts your relationship with the equines. Equines easily pick up on our energy and skillfully read our cues to decide whether we are safe to be around or not. If we are feeling bad, uneasy or doubtful they know it and they will act accordingly!
Mica spoke out loud to Goldie, “I didn’t think you would come with me. Why won’t you go? Do you not like me anymore? I thought you did but I guess not.” In exasperation, Mica disconnected the lead rope completely and sat down, looking defeated.
When we asked Mica what was happening, she replied “I thought we had a good connection and now he’s just ignoring me. I think maybe he’s just not into me anymore and doesn’t want to go with me.”
We asked Mica how that made them feel. Mica answered, “I feel like he’s just ignoring me, and there isn’t anything I can do about it.”
“On a scale of 1-10 how confident do you feel about leading him out into the arena now?” we inquired.
“I’m at a zero at the moment.” she responded.
“What would help?”
“I don’t know. I’ve totally lost the connection and it’s obviously not going to happen now. It probably would have before but I don’t think I can get the connection back now because he really doesn’t want to go with me.”
When asked about any other reasons Goldie might not be coming along Mica grumbled “I don’t know.”
We then asked Mica to give it another try and to notice what she was thinking about right as she began to start walking Goldie.
Mica agreed to try and picked the lead rope back up; just as she started to clip on the rope, Goldie started walking backwards away from Mica.
“What are you thinking about?” we prompted Mica.
Mica burst into laughter “I literally just said to myself that this is BS and it will never work”. She continued to laugh, “I guess it makes sense that he’s backing up!”
We asked Mica to try one more time, adding one more piece to the puzzle. This time we asked Mica to think about something POSITIVE: something that she loves doing, something that makes her really happy and to continue thinking about that happy thing when she began to start walking — “See if you can connect to something positive in your heart first before you take that first step.”
Mica took a breath and a moment to think, “Ok! I’ve got something.” Just as she was about to begin walking, Goldie stepped forward. And just like that, the two began walking around the arena.
Negative thinking can make a small challenge feel like something too difficult to confront. It chips away at our self esteem and confidence – qualities that all horses (and people) look for in the person that’s leading them. Having a positive mindset when approaching a task can not only help you to achieve that task; it can also give others around you, who may be feeling apprehensive themselves, a feeling of confidence. Sometimes, a simple shift in outlook is all that’s needed to shift the energy of a moment into your favor and begin moving forward again more easily.
*all names and identifying information have been changed
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