In a recent teen group, Marcie*, was feeling stressed, anxious and irritated. In a particularly frustrated moment, she asked to separate herself from the group and took a seat outside of the arena.
After some time, one of the facilitators checked in on her. When asked how she was doing, Marcie shared that she didn’t really know what to do, she wanted to come join the group but she was afraid that her emotional state would be too hard for the equines. She was still feeling really frustrated and agitated and she didn’t want to upset them so she figured “I’d better just stay where I am and not try to do anything else”. We asked if she’d be willing to just give it a try, explaining that the equines are masters at being open to connection even when we are upset, and that they might actually even be able to help her shift out of being stuck.
Marcie took a moment to consider this and then decided she would give it try. When she came back into the arena our “social butterfly” mini donkey, Lucas, immediately went up to her and leaned into her for some attention. Marcie was surprised at first and then as if suddenly waking up from a trance, she began scratching and petting Lucas. She was quickly joined by 2 more donkeys and they all literally melted onto the ground into a mini donkey cuddle puddle. After some time connecting with the donkeys, Marcie then felt up for taking a walk with them.
When we checked in with her about what had shifted, Marcie shared that she had remembered one of the skills she’d been learning about in therapy called “Opposite Action”. It’s the idea of taking action /doing something opposite of what you feel like you want to do, to just be open and try different approaches to see what happens when you do – kind of like an experiment. At the time, Marcie felt like she didn’t want to do ANYTHING – she didn’t even want to try because she thought it just wouldn’t work. Marcie noticed her unwillingness to even try and so she thought, OK maybe I need to do the opposite and just try and see what happens.
Once Marcie made the choice to take just that one small action of “trying & seeing what would happen” everything changed for her. Lucas approached her and she saw that the donkeys wanted to connect with her regardless of her mood. She realized that she was wrong about what she thought would happen. The more she engaged with them and the more she moved away from the stuck place she had been in and the better she started to feel. Marcie shared that actually getting up and doing some activities helped her get out of being stuck in her head; I was agitated and frustrated before but I feel better now…..I don’t feel stuck in it anymore.”
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