Jerry* came to us through a program for Veterans. He and his wife, Anna, were participating in an activity that involved walking their equine around the arena to four designated barrels labeled with different topics to discuss and reflect on. On top of the barrel, labeled “Self Care”, there were a few brushes to invite the opportunity to take some time to brush their horse and talk about what self-care meant to them. When Jerry and his wife had a turn at the “Self Care” station and started to brush their horse something unexpected happened. “Mama”, the horse they’d been working with, didn’t seem happy at all with the brushing she was receiving, she held her head high and kept trying to move away from the brush. This is unusual behavior for most of our horses, and especially for “Mama” because she loves to be brushed.
When we asked Jerry and his wife what they were noticing about “Mama,” Jerry replied “clearly she doesn’t like it.” We followed up by asking them how they each felt about self care in general. Anna said that it was very hard for her to find time for herself. Jerry shared that it really wasn’t “for him” and that it was something he never even thought about or would consider for himself. We took some time to process their feelings and experiences around self care.
It occurred to Jerry that just the thought of taking time for himself felt “odd” or “stupid” and made him feel awkward. At this, as if on cue, “Mama” came right up to him and put her nose on the brush that he was holding. Jerry laughed about that, asking her if she wanted to be brushed now and she took a step forward. We encouraged him to take a few moments to just be present with “Mama” and consider what he might need or want to connect to within himself.
We stepped back to give them some space, and after some time we noticed “Mama” drop her head and close her eyes, positioning her neck to show just where she wanted to be brushed. Later, when we checked back in with them, Jerry said he couldn’t believe how relaxed he was “just from brushing a horse.” We asked him what he noticed about the horse while he was brushing her and he said that it seemed like she was enjoying it, but mostly that he was enjoying it. For those few minutes with “Mama” he felt relaxed and present in the moment. It also gave Jerry and his wife the opportunity share an experience together and talk about how to prioritize self care. Jerry even came up with some self care things that he could do for himself like woodworking or swimming in the pool and decided to make these things a new practice of self care.
*all names and identifying information have been changed.
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