About a year prior to finding Stand InBalance, Emily* lost her mother to Covid19 and lost her job. The stress of the situations combined meant she never really had the opportunity to acknowledge or process her grief. Emily found herself in a constant state of movement and anxiety; she felt a strong need to stay busy and active, allowing herself no time and space for rest or recovery. Finding both the time and the monetary resources to pay for any professional support for her mental health was extremely difficult. Eventually, she found her way to Stand InBalance, and with the help of the Equipowerment Foundation for Healing Horses and Helping Humans (EFH4) an opportunity was made available for her to be able to take some sessions at Stand InBalance for a fee that she could afford.
Much of Emily’s time in the arena with the equines was spent working on identifying and addressing her intense anxiety and the way that it presented in her body. When she first arrived, the horses and donkeys gave very clear communication that they picked up her high intensity vibes, most of them stiffening themselves and holding their breath as she approached; others steering clear and wanting nothing to do with her. With the help of the equines, Emily became more aware of herself, her energy. The equines would remind her to slow down, to breathe and she could clearly notice the difference both in her own body and theirs when she was able to do so. With some guidance and tools offered to her by her therapist, Emily’s anxiety began to lessen and she was able to begin to acknowledge the grief that laid beneath it.
We worked with Emily — making space for her grief and creating opportunities for her to learn to process and allow her emotions. As she began to allow the depth of her feelings, the equines were no longer tense and wary of her. They approached her easily – lending their supportive energy to her in the way of Maybelline’s nose to her heart, Luna shoulder to cry on, and Colby’s simple way of standing nearby and listening while she stroked his side.
It was towards the end of one of these sessions that Emily shared something truly special with us. As she stood amidst the donkeys in the arena, brushing Maybelline while Millie, Bella-Rose and Bubba stretched out peacefully in the sunshine nearby, Emily took a deep breath and looked around her. As she did, gentle tears welled in her eyes and she lifted her hand to her heart.
“I feel so different.” She said.
“How so?” We asked her.
“I feel so grateful.” Emily expressed. “I almost can’t believe I’m here. It’s like a weight has been lifted and suddenly I can see all of the things that I am so grateful for. And I can’t believe how fortunate I am. I am so grateful for the the support [Equipowerment Foundation funds] for me to be able to have this.” She gestured around her. Emily noted that “Even though I still feel very sad and I still miss my mom so much, I am so grateful for everything she gave me, for the time that I had with her….when I am able to look at it that way, then I can see everything else that I’m thankful for right now….Thank you so much for helping me get to this place.”
It’s moments like this, with Emily and so many others we have the privilege to help, that make us so grateful for what we get to do, too.
*all names and identifying information have been changed
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