Similar to human relationships, successful relating with horses requires compassion, patience, kindness, and clarity. Not only can we increase our capacity for compassion by caring for them, we can develop a deeper, more loving connection with ourselves through their love and acceptance of us. Tom’s* experience is a moving reminder of their powerful ability to help us heal.
As soon as Tom* walked into the round pen, the light bay horse moved away. Each time Tom took a step towards him, the bay pinned back his ears and tossed his head — “get away, I don’t trust you, don’t touch me!” As a veteran with PTSD, Tom came to Stand InBalance because he had been struggling to re-connect with his family. He was torn between wanting to find a way to break free from his self-imposed guilt and isolation and the strong belief that he was morally bad and deserved the physical and emotional wounds he carried.
The facilitators encouraged Tom to take a step back, observe, and consider what was going on for the horse. Through discussion, Tom began to connect with the ways he was very much like this horse — hyper-vigilant and afraid to let anyone get close. As Tom recognized that the horse was also a trauma survivor his whole posture and attitude softened. The horse took a step closer. With encouragement, Tom allowed himself to breathe and accept the complexity of feelings arising within him. Gradually, the bay horse moved closer. As tears came to Tom’s eyes, the big horse put his head next to Tom’s heart and allowed Tom to touch his cheek. They stayed like this for several minutes. Without any words, these two amazing beings experienced a compassionate exchange of pain and healing. Afterward, Tom stated that it was the first time since his return from war that he’d been able to really let go — “something really shifted, I feel so much lighter.”
When we allow ourselves to truly “be present” with horses, there is a felt experience of openness, expansiveness, compassion, vulnerability, awe, and connectedness. They touch our hearts and can help us bear the unbearable.
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