We are truly blessed to have 9 wonderful equine co-facilitators here at Stand InBalance. As sentient “truth detectors” they help us humans connect with the deepest parts of ourselves — particularly those aspects that have been silenced and denied. Lynn* (22 y.o.) was referred by her therapist for adjunctive help with self-harm behaviors. Her outgoing, “cheery” facade belied the depth of her pain and self-loathing. Following a sexual assault at age 19, Lynn started using self-harm as way to cope with the unmanageable aftermath.
In her second session, Lynn created an obstacle course that represented her current challenges and chose a low pole jump to represent her self-harm behaviors. She was adamant about wanting to “get over” them. Lynn and her horse had been walking around the arena without any difficulty for most of the session. However, when she got ready to take her horse over the pole he refused to budge. When asked how she felt about walking with him over “self-harm,” Lynn was her usual cheery self: “I feel great, I’m really ready to get over it.” At that point, the horse took 5 steps back! He was quickly and directly expressing how incongruent she was. Lynn knew that he was reacting to her, but she couldn’t figure out why. After some processing and somatic exploration with the therapist, she took a breath and tears began to well — her horse walked right back to her and put his head near her side. Lynn noted that she was so used to pretending everything was great that she never let herself feel the “bad” feelings, and didn’t want to admit she was depressed. Standing with him and acknowledging her feelings was a huge breakthrough for Lynn and a turning point in her therapy. That little horse was a bigger and better “truth detector” than any human could have been.
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