Balance for the Holidays – Tips from the Herd

At Stand InBalance we know that our equine herd has a lot of wisdom to share; so we decided to ask them for some tips on navigating the challenges of the holidays.

Below is what they had to say about creating more joy, dealing with family dynamics, and helping kids cope with the demands of the holidays.

SIB: How can folks kick up their heels when they really don’t feel like it?

Condina: Don’t get stuck on how the holidays are supposed to be and how you are supposed to feel.  Focus on what feels good to you and take each day as it comes. Don’t get caught up in unrealistic expectations.

Lucius: Be playful and do something different!  Create a holiday experience you can enjoy.

Stop and think about what brings you joy and then consider what you can do to create that.

See a movie, take a hike, go to a restaurant, or plan a potluck instead of exhausting yourself cooking a feast.

Maybelline: Be sure to communicate your needs to people. Remember, they can’t read your mind. Don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, I’d really like to do X,Y, or Z this year.  How can we make that happen?”

SIB: People often feel over-obligated at this time of year. What can they do?

Bubba: Forget the unimportant stuff. What is the point of running yourself ragged trying to be the be-all, end-all? No one is perfect and having energy and space for joy is more important than getting every decoration up. 

Cosmo: Remember that it’s okay to have boundaries and limits! You humans often confuse saying no with being mean, but really they are two different things.

Millie: Ask for help. People are often willing to help out, you just have to let them know what you need, be specific – can you help me with cooking?  Will you pick up a few things at the market?

SIB: Difficult family dynamics can be especially challenging, any tips?

Condina: Be proactive – head off problems wherever and whenever you can. Take time to think about the people and situations that trigger you and then figure out a coping strategy.  For instance, if your Aunt and Uncle stress you out, let them know you can’t make their party this year, or just drop for a quick hello. Instead of staying at your in-laws when you visit, stay at a hotel.

 It can be really hard to set limits at first, but when you lovingly assert yourself things really do begin to change.

Cooper: Don’t get caught up in the conflict around you. If your mother and grandfather get in a fight every holiday remember you can’t control them – you can only control your own reaction. You can take a deep breath, count to 10, or excuse yourself for a bathroom for a break!

Bella-Rose: Take time to be with the people you really care about and feel comfortable with.  Seek them out when you are in challenging situations and ask for support or just spend time with them.

SIB: Do you have any tips for helping kids cope with the holidays?

Bubba: Involve them in holiday rituals and preparations – let them help you cook or decorate…it may get messy, but it will pay off because your child will feel involved, develop mastery skills, and feel good about themselves.

Cosmo: Consider your child’s temperament – can they go with the flow and function with an erratic schedule and less sleep? Try to avoid meltdowns by creating structure where you can. Prepare children for what’s ahead and try to make sure they are well rested and eating healthy.

Lucius: Don’t have unrealistic expectations. Kids in the same age range can have different capabilities so try not compare your child to others or shame him or her into behaving a certain way. Be sure to have things for them to do – if going away bring DVD’s or activities they can enjoy.

SIB: Anything else?

Condina: Yes, be sure to carve out some time for yourself. Take time to unplug for short periods, even 15 minutes can help. And, don’t forget to exercise – this will help keep stress in check while also burning some of those extra calories.