“The most effective leader relinquishes the ambition to master others in favor of mastering herself”.
~ Linda Kohanov, Way of the Horse
Leadership comes in all different shapes, sizes, and types and is an important skill for all areas of life. At Stand InBalance, we believe that true leadership starts with ourselves. Whether we are with family, friends, co-workers, or running a company, the first order of business is self-mastery. When we have self-awareness and the ability to regulate our own emotional states we are able to engage with authenticity and communicate effectively and lovingly – even under times of stress.
For both humans and horses, equanimity in stressful circumstances is an essential leadership skill. Equanimity is a state of mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper. The Buddha spoke of two different aspects of equanimity – observation and seeing with understanding. 1 The term Mindsight, coined by Dan Siegel, is grounded in these concepts and refers to the ability to perceive our mind and the mind of others such that we can “ ‘name and tame’ the emotions we are experiencing, rather than being overwhelmed by them.” 2
Siegel (2011) describes mindsight as using three skills that enable us to remain open, observant, and reflective about our selves and others:
- Openness – be receptive to whatever comes into our awareness and don’t cling to ideas, let go of expectations and receive things as they are;
- Observation – perceive the self even as we are experiencing an event and be able to disengage from automatic behaviors;
- Objectivity – awareness of awareness – able to have a thought or feeling and not be swept away by it, discernment.
Horses embody equanimity and are consummate teachers of mindsight. Effectively interacting with horses requires that we be open, observant, and objective. The dynamics that play out in the arena with the herd inevitably mirror dynamics and issues of participants lives. And the best part? With horses we are able to shift our awareness and behavior in the moment and receive immediate feedback about our state of being.
A great example of this occurred recently when a group of four individuals came to together in an attempt to connect up with a horse and move him across the arena into an area they had labeled “courage” without using a halter or a leadrope. At first the horse wouldn’t budge, then the the horse began to move chaotically all over the arena – going anywhere except for where they wanted him to go. After trying many different things, the participants agreed to center their energy individually and then collectively. As they came together with focus and intention, the horse calmed down and walked with them all the way to their place of “courage”.
Similarly, effective movement and interaction in life requires that we center ourselves first and then communicate with clarity and intention, and compassion. It is truly amazing how we can shift ourselves and the world around us when we cultivate equanimity.
1 http://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/books-articles/articles/equanimity/
2 Dan Siegel (2011) Mindsight: The new science of personal transformation. New York: Bantam Books.
Photo by Jenn KL Photograpy (jennkl.com)
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